Freement byWilliam James Johnson Chapter 23
Donna's body was found that same day by her cleaning woman. Just as I suspected, the Chathurst homicide squad pulled in all her clients for questioning. The manager of the Ace had given them my name, but luckily my drunken friend Hank Orme at the Harmony Bar was glad to be my alibi. The fact that I had lost my job that morning made my drinking bout more believable.
Flora's naked body was not discovered until about two weeks later by a small troop of scouts hiking in the woods that surrounded the gravel pit. By September, I had shoved that experience out of my life. It hadn't even happened. This was one of the important results of Freement thinking; once a Freementer decides on a course of
action, there are never any regrets, no self-abasement.
Something else was now plaguing my conscience. Despite the attempt to liberalize my behaviour, there was still a residual gnawing of remorse. It was no longer motivated by religion, but rather sprang from a social conscience which had taken its place. I knew there was no way a society could prosper if its people
could rationalize murder. This was exactly what I was doing. I attributed this inner conflict to the fact that my struggle to destroy my conscience was far from over. I was on the right track. I just needed to continue my resolve.
By the time we returned to university that fall, we had taken over the former Lighthouse Mission as a permanent base for our meetings. Because I had left my job at the factory I had most of the summer to work on our headquarters. The first change I made, was to paint the windows black. Passers-by could easily have mistaken the place for an abandoned warehouse.
Our numbers were increasing. Confused teenagers wanted to be a part of my revolution, and if an appeal to evil was the way of getting into their psyches, I would use it. We began using passwords and coded references to add to the mystery of the Freement movement. This satanic approach to the destruction of organized religion seemed to have a greater appeal than my former rational discussions. I was replacing one set of myths with another. But I was willing to do whatever was needed to get into the heads of my followers.
Since quitting my job, I was putting in long hours at our centre. Rick and Stu, felt I should be paid for my time. Reluctantly I agreed that members attending meetings should pay a small fee of fifty cents, which gave us ample money for the rent of this rundown hall, and paid my room and board. My two partners were doing very well conducting indoctrination classes, which gave me the chance to gain first hand experience with my new followers who had moved into the Skid Row area.
I felt it was a wise move for Freementers to see me in their midst. I still kept my place at Ma Rooney's, because I was hoping to move into a place on Brush Street when Clara returned. I desperately wanted her to live with me. I really despised the wretched women who had taken my teaching seriously, and were now full time whores.
One evening during the final week before returning to school, I was roaming around the dives, when I met an attractive brunette, working as a hostess in the Diamond Dance Palace, a competitor of the Ace. I vaguely remembered seeing her at my meetings during the previous school year.
"Hi Marty."
"Hi."
"You probably don't remember me, but I was in that meeting when you and Woltmann had your fight."
"That was some meeting."
"Casey Martin," She extended her hand.
"Hi Casey."
"Clara back yet?"
"I expect her next week."
"Bet you've missed her?"
"In a way...but I've been terribly busy."
She put her arm around me and pulled me onto the dance floor. Pressing closely to me she whispered. "There's no reason you should be without a woman while she's away."
"I got used to it. I'd feel bad if I cheated on Clara."
"I don't believe it. Is this Freement denying himself something everyone needs?"
"I guess it's because I'm in love with Clara."
Years ago I found the word love is magic. It opens hearts, weakens resistance, and many times spreads thighs.
"This has got nothing to do with love. Before I was a Freementer, I just about went crazy with frustration. You have no idea what a wonderful change your ideas have made in my life."
"Being a Freementer really means that much to you?"
"Does it ever. Why don't you come out back and let me show you. I've had a tremendous crush on you for a long time. You wouldn't want to deny a fellow Freementer a chance to have a good time would you?"
Her room was more feminine than Donna's. God almighty!...How come I suddenly thought of Donna? I had killed her and Flora and had felt nothing. No sadness. No loss. No bitterness. Why? Maybe I had killed myself long ago. There was no more subtleness in my life, just a bare directness which seemed unreal at times. The only life I knew now sprang from between the thighs of eager wenches, deluded with the idea of love.
Casey made me think of poor little Donna. She had never known true love as a child. But she wasn't the only one. What a distorted pack of females had helped me twist my life into this unrecognizable creature posing as a leader of a new movement. All of my women were unnatural in some way.
Kicking off her shoes, Casey put her foot up on the bed and let her slit skirt slide back on her thigh, showing the dimpled flesh above the nylon she was unfastening. I looked at her brazenly exposing herself, and I felt sick to my stomach.
Again for a moment, I saw Donna standing there, provoking me. Then Liz
took her place, sad, demented Liz. And finally the full body of Aggie which swallowed me up more times then I can remember.
"Come on Marty. What's keeping you. I've heard you're really a great stud."
"My heart's not in it sweety."
"Then I guess I'm just gonna have to do something about that."
She pressed her hands on my lower abdomen, probing with her fingers, until I began to swell. Slowly she slid down the zipper and out shot my famous satisfier. Taking it in both hands, she began to move it up and down gently, teasing the end of it with the tip of her tongue. It didn't take much of this for me to forget all the remorse I felt coming into her room. Casey was very skilful in bringing me to the brink, then cooling it for a few moments, before making it stretch even further the next time.
"My gawd! If the girls could see this at one of your meetings, you'd convert the whole junior class. That's nice enough to be bronzed."
"Well as you said, it wouldn't be right for a fellow Freementer to deny pleasure to his friend. Take all you want."
Pulling off my trousers and shoes. she had me lie on my back across her bed. She finished removing all her clothes, then she hovered over me, her legs spanning my body, her lovely rump still in the air. With her playful mouth and hands she made me as rigid as steel. Then she lowered herself onto my aching cock, and rotating her fine arse, screwed it all the way in, moaning as it inched its way deep into her slippery sleeve.
"Oh gawd! Gawd that feels great. Oh...oh...untie your nuts and give me more...more. Freement...I love you Freement. This is not just sex, believe me. This is heaven. Oh...I'm coming...You come too my darling Marty. Empty yourself completely. Flood me you wonderful man. Fill me with your hot cream."
"It's great to be so free Casey. You're a wonderful lover. I'm glad I came with you."
"You can say that again. We came together...Oh that's the way it's supposed to be."
She fell forward on my chest and began kissing me, her tongue searching deep into my mouth, her wonderful body still clasping my flaccid penis. Somehow inside, she began to flex her body in such a way, that I felt myself getting hard again. I let my hands move gently over the round fullness of her rump tracing the valley between her sensuous cheeks until I reached the tightly pursed rear opening. Toying with the fine hairs which sprouted from this dewy channel. I felt her inner movements sucking my finger into it.
"You have no idea how fantastic that feels Marty."
"I don't want to hurt you."
"Oh...please hurt me. Push it in. All the way in. I want to feel you having me anywhere, and everywhere."
I did as she asked, and as my finger reached as far as it could, I felt my rigid erection pumping from the front. I had never experienced such a fulfilling orgasm. When I came this time it felt as if the blood was draining out of my entire body into hers.
"Oh...Oh...You're mine Marty. And I'm yours. Can you believe it, I'm still coming. My body is shaking all over. Can't you feel it. It's out of control. Oh...I can die now. I'll never have it any better."
Her reference to dying hit me with such force, I went limp immediately.
"Why did you say that?"
"Say what'?"
"About dying...why did you say you could die now?"
"It's just an expression. I was trying to tell you how wonderful I think you are. I have never had such a marvellous time with any other man. You were absolutely fantastic."
Her reassurance calmed me. I looked at my watch.
"Jesus Casey. I've got to go. You know how much I'd rather stay with you, but there's a bunch of kids coming tonight, and I've got to get back."
"You ought to tell them about us, so they would know what's in store for them. Believe me, any woman who is lucky enough to get a taste of that beautiful organ of yours would be an instant Freementer. Promise me you'll come again."
"I promise. Coming with you has made my day. Bye you marvellous little sex fiend."
The first of that next week saw the commencement of another school term. Experienced now with the routine, enrolment went smoothly. Clara was back and it felt good. We stayed together all day and that night planned to go to the freshman dance. As I was preparing for the dance, Stu came into my room at Ma Rooney's.
"Thought I'd better warn you. Casey's been talking."
"Casey?"
"The chick you screwed at the Diamond."
"How'd you find out?"
"She told Chris, and Chris told me. Apparently she's gonna tell Clara. She says she'll do whatever it takes to bust you up. She's nuts about you. And if you want my opinion..."
"I don't."
"You could do a helluva lot worse than Casey. Guys who know, tell me she is one terrific piece."
"I told you I'm not interested in your opinion."
"What are you gonna do about Clara?"
"Tel1 her the truth."
"Think that's smart? Why not just deny it? You told us Freementers do and say whatever helps them regardless of the truth."
"Thanks Stu for trying to help. I've got to do it my way."
Waiting in the lounge at Valleyside Hall I wondered what would be the best way to handle this. As Clara came into the sitting room, I was surprised to see she was wearing a skirt and sweater instead of the customary semi-formal.
"I'm not going to the dance. Please Marty, let's go for a ride. I've got to talk to you."
We headed out the north end of the city, the same route I had taken with Flora. The old country school yard was empty. I pulled into the gravel driveway and parked between the building and some bushes.
"Okay. So what is it you want to talk about?"
"Oh Marty...How could you?"
"How could I what?"
"You and Casey. If it had been anyone else it wouldn't have been so bad. But Casey...a common prostitute."
"There's nothing common about Casey."
"You admit it then. You did sleep with her."
"When you're with a girl like Casey, you don't waste time sleeping."
"Why did you go with her? Why couldn't you wait?"
"Clara!.. I'm tired of waiting. I'm Freement. Don't you see. Freement doesn't have to wait. He doesn't have to frustrate his desires. No one can stop Freement."
"You scare me when you talk like that."
"Grow up for Chrissake. What do you think all of my teaching is about anyway. You're no closer to getting rid of your hangups than you were the first time we met."
"Please Marty. Don't talk like that...it really does frighten me."
"Well you better get used to it, because you're the one who has to change, not me."
"Have you no will power left? Have you just become an animal?"
"Freement has more will power than all those weak social conformists put together. Mine is a positive will. I can do whatever my nature desires because I'm not trapped by the laws designed for weaklings."
With this, I reached out to take Clara into my arms and try to pacify her anger, and confusion.
"No. No. Don't touch me."
"Clara...Darling let me help you."
"I can't understand you anymore. One minute you're raving about some devilish ideals, the next you're all tenderness, and sweetness. Which is the real you?"
"I'll be the one you want...Clara, I love you so."
The magic word came through. Her kiss was pure, warm, and virginal.
"Oh Marty...Marty, you're such a puzzle. I guess that's why I find you so attractive."
We tried to make up for those months we were apart. Two hours of passionate love making had brought me to the breaking point. Clara's tender body tingled wherever I touched her. Physically she was ready. I could tell.
"Please darling, let me prove my love for you."
"I'm afraid Marty."
"I'll be gentle. I promise."
"I want to, but I can't"
"You've got to Clara. I've chosen you to have Freement's child. Won't you help me produce the new redeemer of the world?"
She pushed me away, startled by my suggestion. "You must be crazy."
"I mean it Clara. Help me. Help create a new redeemer for mankind. Sing Magnificats Clara. You are the chosen one."
"Stop it. Quit clawing me, you animal. You're sick Marty...Sick. Sick. Sick."
I slapped her across the mouth. My head began spinning like it had done when Donna made fun of me. Getting control of myself, I pushed open the car door.
"Get to hell out you Wop slut. Pray your way back to town. You've had your chance. I know loads of women who would lie down on the spot to have my child."
I started the car and backed out of the school yard. She came running beside me screaming, "Wait. Marty wait. Please. Don't leave me..."
I don't know how she got back. I never bothered to ask. I was through frustrating myself. From now on, everything goes for Freement. Look out world. Your saviour is amongst you. You look, but you do not see. You will feel my power surging through the young. Weep not for me, but for your children.
Jesus, why do I let women screw up my life so much. I'm not sure I even like them. Maybe it's because I'm not sure I like myself. That's what has to happen. I've got to like myself first, then maybe I can learn to turn all this inner hate into love for others.
I wonder how Jesus did it. All he gave the world was love, and for this he was crucified. What the hell kind of world is this anyway. What we want, we cannot have. And what we despise, is thrust upon us.
Check William James Johnson biography by clicking here.
Flora's naked body was not discovered until about two weeks later by a small troop of scouts hiking in the woods that surrounded the gravel pit. By September, I had shoved that experience out of my life. It hadn't even happened. This was one of the important results of Freement thinking; once a Freementer decides on a course of
action, there are never any regrets, no self-abasement.
Something else was now plaguing my conscience. Despite the attempt to liberalize my behaviour, there was still a residual gnawing of remorse. It was no longer motivated by religion, but rather sprang from a social conscience which had taken its place. I knew there was no way a society could prosper if its people
could rationalize murder. This was exactly what I was doing. I attributed this inner conflict to the fact that my struggle to destroy my conscience was far from over. I was on the right track. I just needed to continue my resolve.
By the time we returned to university that fall, we had taken over the former Lighthouse Mission as a permanent base for our meetings. Because I had left my job at the factory I had most of the summer to work on our headquarters. The first change I made, was to paint the windows black. Passers-by could easily have mistaken the place for an abandoned warehouse.
Our numbers were increasing. Confused teenagers wanted to be a part of my revolution, and if an appeal to evil was the way of getting into their psyches, I would use it. We began using passwords and coded references to add to the mystery of the Freement movement. This satanic approach to the destruction of organized religion seemed to have a greater appeal than my former rational discussions. I was replacing one set of myths with another. But I was willing to do whatever was needed to get into the heads of my followers.
Since quitting my job, I was putting in long hours at our centre. Rick and Stu, felt I should be paid for my time. Reluctantly I agreed that members attending meetings should pay a small fee of fifty cents, which gave us ample money for the rent of this rundown hall, and paid my room and board. My two partners were doing very well conducting indoctrination classes, which gave me the chance to gain first hand experience with my new followers who had moved into the Skid Row area.
I felt it was a wise move for Freementers to see me in their midst. I still kept my place at Ma Rooney's, because I was hoping to move into a place on Brush Street when Clara returned. I desperately wanted her to live with me. I really despised the wretched women who had taken my teaching seriously, and were now full time whores.
One evening during the final week before returning to school, I was roaming around the dives, when I met an attractive brunette, working as a hostess in the Diamond Dance Palace, a competitor of the Ace. I vaguely remembered seeing her at my meetings during the previous school year.
"Hi Marty."
"Hi."
"You probably don't remember me, but I was in that meeting when you and Woltmann had your fight."
"That was some meeting."
"Casey Martin," She extended her hand.
"Hi Casey."
"Clara back yet?"
"I expect her next week."
"Bet you've missed her?"
"In a way...but I've been terribly busy."
She put her arm around me and pulled me onto the dance floor. Pressing closely to me she whispered. "There's no reason you should be without a woman while she's away."
"I got used to it. I'd feel bad if I cheated on Clara."
"I don't believe it. Is this Freement denying himself something everyone needs?"
"I guess it's because I'm in love with Clara."
Years ago I found the word love is magic. It opens hearts, weakens resistance, and many times spreads thighs.
"This has got nothing to do with love. Before I was a Freementer, I just about went crazy with frustration. You have no idea what a wonderful change your ideas have made in my life."
"Being a Freementer really means that much to you?"
"Does it ever. Why don't you come out back and let me show you. I've had a tremendous crush on you for a long time. You wouldn't want to deny a fellow Freementer a chance to have a good time would you?"
Her room was more feminine than Donna's. God almighty!...How come I suddenly thought of Donna? I had killed her and Flora and had felt nothing. No sadness. No loss. No bitterness. Why? Maybe I had killed myself long ago. There was no more subtleness in my life, just a bare directness which seemed unreal at times. The only life I knew now sprang from between the thighs of eager wenches, deluded with the idea of love.
Casey made me think of poor little Donna. She had never known true love as a child. But she wasn't the only one. What a distorted pack of females had helped me twist my life into this unrecognizable creature posing as a leader of a new movement. All of my women were unnatural in some way.
Kicking off her shoes, Casey put her foot up on the bed and let her slit skirt slide back on her thigh, showing the dimpled flesh above the nylon she was unfastening. I looked at her brazenly exposing herself, and I felt sick to my stomach.
Again for a moment, I saw Donna standing there, provoking me. Then Liz
took her place, sad, demented Liz. And finally the full body of Aggie which swallowed me up more times then I can remember.
"Come on Marty. What's keeping you. I've heard you're really a great stud."
"My heart's not in it sweety."
"Then I guess I'm just gonna have to do something about that."
She pressed her hands on my lower abdomen, probing with her fingers, until I began to swell. Slowly she slid down the zipper and out shot my famous satisfier. Taking it in both hands, she began to move it up and down gently, teasing the end of it with the tip of her tongue. It didn't take much of this for me to forget all the remorse I felt coming into her room. Casey was very skilful in bringing me to the brink, then cooling it for a few moments, before making it stretch even further the next time.
"My gawd! If the girls could see this at one of your meetings, you'd convert the whole junior class. That's nice enough to be bronzed."
"Well as you said, it wouldn't be right for a fellow Freementer to deny pleasure to his friend. Take all you want."
Pulling off my trousers and shoes. she had me lie on my back across her bed. She finished removing all her clothes, then she hovered over me, her legs spanning my body, her lovely rump still in the air. With her playful mouth and hands she made me as rigid as steel. Then she lowered herself onto my aching cock, and rotating her fine arse, screwed it all the way in, moaning as it inched its way deep into her slippery sleeve.
"Oh gawd! Gawd that feels great. Oh...oh...untie your nuts and give me more...more. Freement...I love you Freement. This is not just sex, believe me. This is heaven. Oh...I'm coming...You come too my darling Marty. Empty yourself completely. Flood me you wonderful man. Fill me with your hot cream."
"It's great to be so free Casey. You're a wonderful lover. I'm glad I came with you."
"You can say that again. We came together...Oh that's the way it's supposed to be."
She fell forward on my chest and began kissing me, her tongue searching deep into my mouth, her wonderful body still clasping my flaccid penis. Somehow inside, she began to flex her body in such a way, that I felt myself getting hard again. I let my hands move gently over the round fullness of her rump tracing the valley between her sensuous cheeks until I reached the tightly pursed rear opening. Toying with the fine hairs which sprouted from this dewy channel. I felt her inner movements sucking my finger into it.
"You have no idea how fantastic that feels Marty."
"I don't want to hurt you."
"Oh...please hurt me. Push it in. All the way in. I want to feel you having me anywhere, and everywhere."
I did as she asked, and as my finger reached as far as it could, I felt my rigid erection pumping from the front. I had never experienced such a fulfilling orgasm. When I came this time it felt as if the blood was draining out of my entire body into hers.
"Oh...Oh...You're mine Marty. And I'm yours. Can you believe it, I'm still coming. My body is shaking all over. Can't you feel it. It's out of control. Oh...I can die now. I'll never have it any better."
Her reference to dying hit me with such force, I went limp immediately.
"Why did you say that?"
"Say what'?"
"About dying...why did you say you could die now?"
"It's just an expression. I was trying to tell you how wonderful I think you are. I have never had such a marvellous time with any other man. You were absolutely fantastic."
Her reassurance calmed me. I looked at my watch.
"Jesus Casey. I've got to go. You know how much I'd rather stay with you, but there's a bunch of kids coming tonight, and I've got to get back."
"You ought to tell them about us, so they would know what's in store for them. Believe me, any woman who is lucky enough to get a taste of that beautiful organ of yours would be an instant Freementer. Promise me you'll come again."
"I promise. Coming with you has made my day. Bye you marvellous little sex fiend."
The first of that next week saw the commencement of another school term. Experienced now with the routine, enrolment went smoothly. Clara was back and it felt good. We stayed together all day and that night planned to go to the freshman dance. As I was preparing for the dance, Stu came into my room at Ma Rooney's.
"Thought I'd better warn you. Casey's been talking."
"Casey?"
"The chick you screwed at the Diamond."
"How'd you find out?"
"She told Chris, and Chris told me. Apparently she's gonna tell Clara. She says she'll do whatever it takes to bust you up. She's nuts about you. And if you want my opinion..."
"I don't."
"You could do a helluva lot worse than Casey. Guys who know, tell me she is one terrific piece."
"I told you I'm not interested in your opinion."
"What are you gonna do about Clara?"
"Tel1 her the truth."
"Think that's smart? Why not just deny it? You told us Freementers do and say whatever helps them regardless of the truth."
"Thanks Stu for trying to help. I've got to do it my way."
Waiting in the lounge at Valleyside Hall I wondered what would be the best way to handle this. As Clara came into the sitting room, I was surprised to see she was wearing a skirt and sweater instead of the customary semi-formal.
"I'm not going to the dance. Please Marty, let's go for a ride. I've got to talk to you."
We headed out the north end of the city, the same route I had taken with Flora. The old country school yard was empty. I pulled into the gravel driveway and parked between the building and some bushes.
"Okay. So what is it you want to talk about?"
"Oh Marty...How could you?"
"How could I what?"
"You and Casey. If it had been anyone else it wouldn't have been so bad. But Casey...a common prostitute."
"There's nothing common about Casey."
"You admit it then. You did sleep with her."
"When you're with a girl like Casey, you don't waste time sleeping."
"Why did you go with her? Why couldn't you wait?"
"Clara!.. I'm tired of waiting. I'm Freement. Don't you see. Freement doesn't have to wait. He doesn't have to frustrate his desires. No one can stop Freement."
"You scare me when you talk like that."
"Grow up for Chrissake. What do you think all of my teaching is about anyway. You're no closer to getting rid of your hangups than you were the first time we met."
"Please Marty. Don't talk like that...it really does frighten me."
"Well you better get used to it, because you're the one who has to change, not me."
"Have you no will power left? Have you just become an animal?"
"Freement has more will power than all those weak social conformists put together. Mine is a positive will. I can do whatever my nature desires because I'm not trapped by the laws designed for weaklings."
With this, I reached out to take Clara into my arms and try to pacify her anger, and confusion.
"No. No. Don't touch me."
"Clara...Darling let me help you."
"I can't understand you anymore. One minute you're raving about some devilish ideals, the next you're all tenderness, and sweetness. Which is the real you?"
"I'll be the one you want...Clara, I love you so."
The magic word came through. Her kiss was pure, warm, and virginal.
"Oh Marty...Marty, you're such a puzzle. I guess that's why I find you so attractive."
We tried to make up for those months we were apart. Two hours of passionate love making had brought me to the breaking point. Clara's tender body tingled wherever I touched her. Physically she was ready. I could tell.
"Please darling, let me prove my love for you."
"I'm afraid Marty."
"I'll be gentle. I promise."
"I want to, but I can't"
"You've got to Clara. I've chosen you to have Freement's child. Won't you help me produce the new redeemer of the world?"
She pushed me away, startled by my suggestion. "You must be crazy."
"I mean it Clara. Help me. Help create a new redeemer for mankind. Sing Magnificats Clara. You are the chosen one."
"Stop it. Quit clawing me, you animal. You're sick Marty...Sick. Sick. Sick."
I slapped her across the mouth. My head began spinning like it had done when Donna made fun of me. Getting control of myself, I pushed open the car door.
"Get to hell out you Wop slut. Pray your way back to town. You've had your chance. I know loads of women who would lie down on the spot to have my child."
I started the car and backed out of the school yard. She came running beside me screaming, "Wait. Marty wait. Please. Don't leave me..."
I don't know how she got back. I never bothered to ask. I was through frustrating myself. From now on, everything goes for Freement. Look out world. Your saviour is amongst you. You look, but you do not see. You will feel my power surging through the young. Weep not for me, but for your children.
Jesus, why do I let women screw up my life so much. I'm not sure I even like them. Maybe it's because I'm not sure I like myself. That's what has to happen. I've got to like myself first, then maybe I can learn to turn all this inner hate into love for others.
I wonder how Jesus did it. All he gave the world was love, and for this he was crucified. What the hell kind of world is this anyway. What we want, we cannot have. And what we despise, is thrust upon us.
Check William James Johnson biography by clicking here.
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