Freement by William James Johnson Chapter 9

After two years of working with Red Corfield I saw a note attached to my time card with instructions to report to the personnel department before starting my shift. It was my third summer of working in the automobile factory.
"Your employee assessment reports by Mr. Corfield are above average. But the time has come Mr. Martindale for you to move on."
Red had taught me to speak up for myself.
"Have I any say in this matter?"
"Not this time I'm sorry to say. Two and a half years seniority hardly stacks up against twenty years service. One of our old timers in plant four smashed his hand in a punch press several weeks ago and he's now ready to come back to work. The workman's compensation board recommended he either be retired or be given a job he could do with only one hand. A pension would only pay him a third of what he was getting and the poor guy's got a family of six. We've decided he could take care of the filing system in your department and of course this means you'll have to be used elsewhere."
When he finished explaining the reason for my move I returned to plant one to collect my few things and say goodbye to Red and some of the other guys.
"So you're goin' to plant four."
"Yeah. Start this afternoon."
"Who you gonna work for?"
"A guy called Burney."
"Mac Burney?"
"That's him."
"I've heard of that bastard."
"What do you mean? What's wrong with Burney?"
"He's a religious nut. You'll see for yourself."
"If he's so weird, how come they keep him?"
"Cuz he's a helluva good worker. Knows more about final assembly than the rest of the guys put together."
"You serious about this?"
"Of course. Burney even has some kind of church he runs on the side. Just don't tangle hind ends with this guy. I know some fellows even quit their jobs to get out from under his bullshit."
Living with Aggie, I had almost forgotten about religion. She had been right. If I wanted to be free, I had to get rid of the sense of guilt which had been so firmly entrenched by my Catholic upbringing. Now Red was telling me I was going to have to work with some religious fanatic. I didn't know what to expect.
"Just because a guy has an interest in religion's no reason why he should interfere with my life."
"Well don't say I didn't warn you. If you were smart, you'd let him think you believe in what he says. Play along with him. How the hell's he gonna know it ain't for real."
"Thanks for everything Red. I sure wish I was staying."
"It's nothin' kid. You were keen to learn and you did good work. I'm gonna miss you too."
"Maybe we could get together sometime and have supper at the Cosmo."
"Yeah...that would be nice. Take care Marty."
A staff van picked me up at the gate and took me to plant four, about three city blocks further from the river. He had to make a few stops at other departments and gave me a little time to reminisce.
By now Aggie's was home to me, and I wasn't planning to leave. I never let her regain control over me like she did when we first met. We still shared each other's physical needs. I was sure she loved me, and she even showed jealousy when I would talk about, younger women I had met, or was dating. But Aggie was smart
enough to know that if she started to make more of our relationship than it had become, she would lose me. I felt no remorse for the choice of life I had made, and it was Aggie's straight forward approach that had helped me neutralize my conscience.
The Cosmo had also become an important part of my new life. Many University students hung out there because of the great food, and also because they made contact with the working class, and their discussions with us, would end up in term papers and other academic assignments. I was envious of these well-to-do young people who were able to spend their days learning, and I vowed that someday, I too would go to University and study philosophy. I loved to listen to them talk about the great thinkers, and how ideas changed the world.
The van stopped outside the guardhouse at plant four. A man of medium height, and robust build, walked quickly towards me. His lynx-like eyebrows arched upwards over deep piercing eyes. His resonant voice belied his weak receding chin. Extending his hand he grabbed mine like a vice, and pulled me towards him.
"Burney. Macdonald Burney. You can call me Mac."
"John Martindale Mr. Burney."
"You don't mind me calling you Johnny?"
"That's fine...Mac."
Walking briskly back to the plant, he gave me a routine check of time clocks, washrooms, cafeteria, and so forth. At the assembly line he demonstrated what I had to do.
"You've got five things to remember. White lead. lock washer. nut. tighten. and cotter pin. Now tell me what I just told you."
"White lead. lock washer. nut. tighten. and cotter pin."
"Right. Now keep saying it as you do it, and soon you'll be doing it without thinking about it."
"Thanks Mac. Doesn't seem too tough."
"Oh yes...there's one other thing I forgot to tell you. You got to do this while the line keeps moving. You got to develop a rhythm if you want to avoid problems. You mess up. and all the guys up the line get hung up because of you. I'll be around here somewhere if you need my help. Just holler Mac, and if I don't hear you, one of the guys will. Any questions?"
"How long do you think I'll be stuck doing this sort of thing?"
"My God Johnny! You haven't even learned to do this simple job, and already you're asking for a change. Wait until you've learned to cope with the movement of the assembly line, and let me see you can handle something more involved. I'll take care of you. I always look after my men. Now let's get to work."
I was so busy keeping up with the moving assembly line, I hardly heard the whistle for the break. Mac returned and we went outside.
"Look at those guys. They complain it's stuffy in the factory ...Unhealthy. Get their union to get them a break period so they can run outside and get some fresh air, then they fill their lungs with filthy smoke. You smoke Johnny?"
"Never got around to trying it."
"Good lad. I've always believed if God had wanted man to smoke, he would've put a chimney in his head. It's not natural."
"I guess if I have any vices, it's my love for food. I enjoy going to the Cosmo for their smorgasbord."
"That hell hole...it's a spawning ground for sinners."
"I go there a lot. I can't see what's so bad about it."
"Free thinkers that's what. Young folks abusing their rights of free thinking. Disregarding all that is sacred in our traditions. Searching vainly for new truths. Forgetting about God..."
The whistle interrupted Mac's hypnotic voice. I was thankful to return to the grinding purr of generators, conveyor chains, and clanging metal. When the final whistle of the day blasted over the factory noises, it was a relief to escape the din and return to my quiet room at Aggie's. I fell asleep before supper and had to be awakened.
"Get up kid. Supper's getting' cold."
"Uh...oh. it's you Aggie."
"I haven't seen you like this for a long time. Something' bothering' you ?"
"Not really. Started a new Job today. Got over tired I guess."
"Maybe you'd rather sleep than eat. I'm sorry I woke you."
"No...no Aggie. I'll be there in a couple of minutes.
I ate supper in silence. picking at my food.
"There is something' chewing on your ass. Come on kid. Let's talk about it. Get it off your chest."
"It's my new boss. He's different that's all."
"Queer or something?"
"Not the way you mean. He's a religious fanatic. Red warned me about him, and already he's tried to suck me into a religious debate."
"Ignore him. Christ. you've got your work to do. He ought to be thankful you're doin'' your job."
"It's not as easy as that. He hangs around like a vulture waiting to pounce. I'm stuck in a limited area so I can't get away. He can hang around, because he's checking out a new guy."
"Tell the creep to get off your back."
"Red said I should play along with him. Make him think I'm really interested."
"Red knows his way around. Maybe you should try that."
After supper I returned to my room followed by Aggie.
"I hate it when I see you screwed up like this honey."
"I'm probably making too much of it. Red filled my head with all kinds of things about this new guy, and I guess it's only fair I give him a chance."
"It's not just him I'm worried about. It's that religious thing. Remember the hard time we had getting you straightened out before. Now along comes this guy, and he's liable to mess you up again."
I smiled at this attractive, plump woman sitting on the edge of my bed, pouring out her love in every glance. I squeezed her thigh.
"Don't worry Aggie. No one's going to change me back to what I was. You've done a good job with me, and I want to stay that way."
She bent down and kissed me.
"It's just that I don't want you to be hurt anymore honey. I guess that's the way it is when you love somebody."
She moved me over slightly and let her body down easily beside me. I heard her shoes hit the floor, and felt the warmth of mellowed passion vibrating against my weary body.
Drained by the psychological tension of my encounter with Mac, I soon fell asleep and began dreaming. It was a bizarre dream. I was back at work and Aggie was there, holding back the assembly line with one hand, clutching Macdonald Burney by the throat with the other. All the men gathered around me, my weary body chained to the hulk of a car. Aggie was screaming at Mac.
"Isn't it enough you've broken his body you bastard? Must you also destroy his mind? I'm warning you Burney, mess up this kid's life like you've done the others, and so help me God, I'll kill you."
Mac shouted in reply to her threats. "Unhand me you fornicating bitch. Daughter of Sodom. You're the one who has enslaved this innocent lamb. You and your godforsaken debauchery. Stoning is too good for you, you aging adulteress. I order you men to strike this abomination with your tools and drive her from me. She is the raper of innocent youth. Kill Conway...Kill Conway."
His forceful, ministerial voice terrified the workers who began hurling their wrenches and hammers at Aggie, striking her ripe body with their punishing blows. Her hands fell from Mac's throat, and she dropped, wounded on the assembly line which began moving again.
"Drive on to hell the body of this worthless wretch, and render her sinful fat into rancid grease." The nightmare continued as Mac grabbed the chains which
bound me.
"Accept Christ as your personal saviour and be free. If you must be a slave, be a slave to goodness." He released the chains and led me gloriously through the
plant shouting, "He is saved. I've saved young John for Christ, and a glorious reward in heaven." The ugly nightmare ended as I lapsed into unconsciousness.
At work, Mac Burney did not move in on me as quickly as I had expected. He showed me what to do and made a point of leaving me to myself. When he did come around his remarks always had a religious overtone. I had been working for him for four months when out of curiosity I challenged him.
"Mac how is it you constantly refer to God when you talk? Are you that religious or is it a habit with you?"
His eyes lit up with my question. Moving closer he spoke confidentially.
"It's the best habit a man can have Johnny. Religion is the most important thing in a man's life. Let me show you what I mean."
Pulling out a small copy of the New Testament from his shirt
pocket, he flipped over some well worn pages and continued talking.
"It says here in the scriptures lad 'Pay unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and unto God the things that are God's. When I'm at work, I give the company my best but when I'm away from here my time is given to my God"
"What religion are you?"
"What difference does it make as long as you believe in God. How about you my boy? Are you a church goer?"
"I was a Catholic." This was the first time I had admitted that I no longer
considered myself a Catholic.
"You mean you're not a Catholic now? You're something else?"
"Not exactly. I was raised a Catholic but I've had a tough time. I find it very hard to believe in God now. In fact. I doubt there is a God." I couldn't believe I was actually saying this.
"How can you possibly doubt there's a God? He made you. Without God there is nothing. You should bow your head now. and ask for his forgiveness. Oh...I could never say I doubt God."
"Where did you get such strong faith?"
"It's a long story but I'll make it short. Years ago when I was near dying I had tremendous doubt. But in my doubt I continued to ask for God's help. And you can see my prayers were answered. I'm here and I've never felt better."
"But maybe you'd have gotten well without prayer."
"I can see you really need help. You've never felt the change that comes over a man who is born again in the blood of the lamb. Tell me Johnny how you broke away from your Divine Master."
There was no way I was going to tell this fanatic about what had happened to me at Amston. I told him that there had been personal problems at home, and when I left my family I also left my church. He was standing so close I could feel his body touching me when I made the slightest move.
"I better get back to work before I get too far behind. You know what you said 'Pay unto Caesar' ." He resented my flippant remark.
"Don't want to talk religion with me is that it? Think you're too good because you're Catholic."
"That's not it at all. You told me I had to keep up with the line or I would screw it up for everyone else. That's all Mac."
"Leave it to me. I'll help you with your job. Just give me a few minutes to check the other guys and I'll be right back. I know you're going to love Jesus when you hear all the wonderful things I can tell you about him."
As he hurried away Mac's words were troubling me. He had asked me how come I had turned away from God. I wished I could tell him I did it because of all those hypocrites who claimed to believe in God had treated me so terribly. Particularly my dad. I wondered what he would say if I told him how my father confessor, a man who claimed to be chosen by God, had tried to corrupt me. The one thing I really liked about Aggie, was her lack of hypocrisy. Not having God didn't seem to bother Aggie.
When Mac returned, he patted me on the shoulder. He had his New Testament opened already.
"Now I know it's not fair for me to start quoting scripture, because you may not know the good book as well as I do. Catholics aren't allowed to read the Bible without guidance trom the Church. But Johnny, there are so many wonderful things I can teach you. if you'll only give me a chance."
I nodded agreement and Mac continued.
"You see son, it says, 'Unless you be baptized by water and the Holy Ghost. you shall not enter the Kingdom of Heaven. This is the life of the spirit. You've turned your back on all that. Oh I know you've been baptized as a Catholic. But that's different. They do it when you're just a tiny infant. I'm talking about doing it right. Doing it now, when you can understand the tremendous power of the spirit. working in you."
"Sounds interesting Mac. But if you've been baptized once, isn't that enough?"
"Not unless you've had the true birth of the spirit. I told you when I'm away from the job, I spend my time serving God. I've got a church of my own, a meeting hall. where we all get together, and with the grace of God, I preach, and save souls.
Got a nice bunch of people. God-loving people, and we'd sure like to have you join us. We meet almost every night. Try to live like true followers of Christ. Will you come along with me Johnny?"
I had left a Church founded by Christ, and now I was being invited to attend a church founded by my straw-boss.
"Thanks for the invitation Mac. I'd like to see your church sometime. but I won't be able to come right away. I expect to be working here for many years. You and I are going to have lots of time to discuss religion. But now. I really think I should keep on working."
He closed his New Testament and kissed it before putting it back into his pocket, and walked away with a self- satisfied look, convinced that given enough time, he would win me over to his way of thinking. Aggie was furious when I told her what had happened with Mac.
"After all I've done for you, you're gonna get all screwed up again with that religious nonsense. Your finally acting like a healthy human being without being scared every time you turn around. and now you're gonna let this bible punching creep have his licks at you. Believe me kid, it's people like him who'll drive you nuts."
"How can it hurt me? All he wants me to do is go and listen. It could be interesting."
"You think he's gonna be satisfied having you just sit there watching. No way. He'll have you praying' and singing' and confessing your sins. Soon you'll be buying the whole ball of crap."
"I'm stronger than that Aggie. I'm curious that's all. It would be a part of my education... knowing how others believe."
"Look Johnny. I don't want to fight with you. You're your own man now. You want to waste your time, go ahead. But this guy gets you all up tight like you were when you first came here, you'll wish to hell you listened to me."
I returned to my room and reflected on Aggie's warning. As much as I wanted to be free, the subject of religion tied me up in knots. How could I get into trouble with Mac if I saw where he was coming from in the beginning? Was I really strong enough to attend a revival meeting and not be drawn in? I tried to read, to get my mind off the problem t but it was no use. I couldn't concentrate on the book. I had to make a decision and I wanted it to be right for me.
There was a gentle knock at the door and it opened slowly. Aggie stood in the opening waiting for my invitation to enter. She had made a sincere effort to appear attractive.
"Mind if I come in for a few minutes?"
"Of course not. Sit here on the bed."
"This religion thing's really getting' to you eh kid?"
"Can't fool you Aggie. I keep saying religion no longer means anything to me, but the very thought of it consumes me."
"It's lousy. I'd like to get my hands on that boss of yours. I'd show him a thing or two."
"It's not Mac's fault. He feels what he believes is right, and you think you're right. How am I to decide?"
"That ain't such a problem. Ask yourself which you like better being' scared out of your wits by the promise of damnation if you sin or being happy like you were this morning when you left for work before that bastard started filling your head with doubts again."
"You're right Aggie. Those are the choices. This is something I've got to work out alone."
"You know how I feel about you Johnny. If there's anything I can do to make it better for you, just anything, all you gotta do is ask."
Bending over me she studied my moody face then kissed me, gently at first. Her tongue separated my lips and she began making love with it prodding, caressing, searching, inside. I was too tired to resist. She whispered softly.
"Oh kid, if you only knew how much I love you. Please Johnny, put your hands on my hips. Let me feel your touch."
She turned slowly and my hand gently fell into her lap, and she moaned as I let it touch the throbbing mound between her legs. I don't know how she did it, but Aggie could undress without breaking contact with me. Her full body had the fragrance of ripe fruit as she got on top of me and swallowed my tumescence with the same mouth, which a moment before had explored my lips. Above me was her cavernous opening, moistly glistening in the dim light of my room. She had taught me everything. I buried my head in the curly folds that covered my face, and her entire body trembled with a torrent of release. This was the way many of our discussions on religion ended.
Aggie had one answer to the problem of spirituality. When in doubt about one's place in God's plan, forget it, and be more sexual.

View original art by William James Johnson. Click here.