Payroll by William James Johnson Chapter 22
Ordered to return to detachment headquarters in Estevan by Inspector "Tiger" Kelly, Sergeant Dick Broom waited anxiously in the outer office, studying the attractive face of Constable Becky Furthers, trying to keep his mind off the problems caused by the payroll robbery. Ever since he and his partner Charlie Henry had been captured by Silky and Rona, they were the laughing stock of the southern Saskatchewan district. Mounties don't take kindly to failure, particularly if they are inspectors getting close to retirement. He knew he was going to get a royal chewing out.
As with most mediocre leaders, Inspector Kelly was looking for a way to cover his own backside, a tactic which he had honed over a long career of one foul up after another. He liked to brag about how he could fall into a barrel of crap and come out smelling like a rose. Obviously he was completing his career in this backwater posting of Estevan instead of finishing in a plum position in some foreign Embassy because someone up there knew the real "Tiger" Kelly.
He wasn't the Mountie on the posters..Barely making the height requirement, and definitely paunchy, Kelly had trouble getting through basic training. Everyone felt he was one brick short of a load, but no one had the courage to finger him. What he lacked in talent, he made up in earnestness.
There was something about him that didn't ring true. Take his nickname for example. Many of the new recruits thought he was called "Tiger" because he was a hard task master, when in fact, "Tiger" was the name he was given as a little boy because of his uncanny knowledge of the players on the Detroit Tigers' baseball team. Kelly would never think of explaining this oversight. It was one of his secretaries who found out about his little secret during a Christmas party.
Somehow over the years, Kelly had limped his way to the lofty rank of Inspector through raw survival instincts, and an ability to shine his boots better than anyone else. He was hoping to complete his last year before retirement without attracting much attention, a virtue he had always practised. Then came the Riel payroll heist. As the "Tiger" put it, he was going to bronze someone's private parts over this screw up, and Broom was the prime victim.
"You can go in now Sergeant," said Constable Becky Furthers.
Broom awkwardly brushed against her, feeling her breast flatten slightly, and winked, hoping this macho gesture would hide his nervousness. An unmarried womanizer, Broom welcomed all opportunities to "test the waters". Furthers was not impressed. Why would she be? Everyone knew she was involved in what is called "a meaningful relationship", with Constable Cathy Stopych. But there were still guys like Broom who thought that all she needed to straighten her out was some sack time with a real man.
"Sit down Sergeant."
"Thank you Sir."
"So...I don't have to tell you I'm very disappointed in you and Charlie."
"I understand Sir...really Inspector...I do understand."
"Goddamn it Dick...I'm not just disappointed...I'm bloody well pissed off. Have you any idea how bad it makes me look?"
"I'm sorry Sir. Me and Charlie let you down."
"Sorry hell...what are we going to do about this payroll mess?"
"Investigate it like we always do Sir."
"Investigate...Investigate my ass. Do you realize there's a bunch of weirdos out there who think this guy and his girl are some kinda folk heroes."
"I've heard that Sir...but..."
"Don't waste my time with more goddamn excuses. Two of my best men let themselves get taken by an Army guy, a lowly Corporal at that, and this two bit hustler."
"And their dog...don't forget the dog."
"The dog was on your side for Chrissake. Chuck Henry said it was the dog who brought you the bag of money...and now you want to criticize the dog. What the hell went wrong?"
"You had to be there Sir."
"Balls...You guys better start getting some results or you'll spend the rest of your career doing Eskimo dances. Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes Sir. I understand Sir."
"Do you realize I've been in this outfit over thirty years."
"I believe you have mentioned it..."
"Over thirty fuckin' years of hard time. None of this musical ride or tourist Mountie bull shit in Ottawa. I know what it means to risk my ass bringing in drunken wahoos on Saturday night. It hasn't been easy."
"Yes Sir...It's been tough."
"You goddamn right."
Kelly stood up and began pacing in front of Broom, swinging at his breeches with a riding crop to emphasize what he was saying. The sound of leather against twill punctuated each remark. Broom wondered how the Inspector's legs could stand such abuse. He remembered Kelly once bragged he had been sent to Estevan detachment to "whip" the men into shape.
"I'm gonna level with you Sergeant, we've got a lot of wimps in our force today, and we can blame the politicians for that. I wouldn't want this to get out, but the day we were ordered to let women into our ranks, was the beginning of the end. I don't mind saying that with all these changes, I'm looking forward to my retirement. But goddamn it, I want to leave the force in a blaze of glory."
"Yes Sir...that would be nice."
"Nice...you say nice. Christ man, it'd be fantastic. 'Inspector Tiger Kelly' the man whose team solved the Riel robbery...has a nice sound doesn't it Sergeant?"
"Sure does. And we'll do it Sir. You can count on it."
With this Kelly took a swing at the back of Broom's chair with his leather crop.
"Good man. Knew I could count on you Sergeant. Now let's get down to details...What the hell you gonna do?"
"Get back the money if we can..."
Kelly smashed the desk with the crop. "Of course get back the money you ninny...How?...How do we get it back?"
"Find Zylkowski and his girl friend and arrest them, and make them tell us where the money is..."
"Jeezus! I wish I had that on tape..."
"It's been less than a week since they disappeared Sir. They couldn't have gotten very far."
"We know they got as far as Bowbells. That's where they dumped your car. Right?"
"Not my car Sir."
"What do you mean, not your car?"
"It was a rental."
Wack...Tiger smashed the desk again. "Are you for real Sergeant? Jeezus H. Christ...I'm trying to get something going, and you tell me it wasn't your car."
"Well it wasn't."
"I'm going to try it one more time...The car you used was last seen in Bowbells?"
"We got the car back. It was abandoned at a small airport just outside of Bowbells.
"That's right Sir."
"Thank God we can finally agree on something."
"Thank you Sir."
"Doesn't it seem reasonable to you, that if they left the car at an airport, they probably took a plane out of there?"
"We've already checked that Sir."
"So?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing...What do you mean nothing?"
"No one there. The place was empty?"
"The car was left there, but the place was empty?"
"That's right Sir...No aircraft either."
"Now that ought to tell you something Sergeant."
"I checked with the locals and they said an old wartime pilot called Ivan Thistlegrow lived at that small airport and he did charter flights for farmers in a Cherokee. No one has seen him for at least a week."
"Then he's your man. Find Thistlegrow, and you'll probably find the two crooks."
"Thank you Sir. I must agree with you."
"What the hell you doin' sitting here?"
"You sent for me Sir."
"Broom?"
"Sir."
"You like being a Sergeant?"
"Yes I do."
"Then get to hell outa here, and get your man. Act like a Sergeant for Chrissake. We're still Mounties aren't we?"
"Have I your permission to work with the Americans?"
"You've got whatever you need. Now get outa here. Make me proud again to be a Mountie."
"Yes Sir." Saluting smartly, Broom did a regulation about face and marched out of his office. In the waiting room he let out a sigh of relief.
"I'm glad that's over."
Constable Furthers got up from her chair and came over to his side of the desk and grabbed him by the seat of his pants and gave it a good squeeze.
"What's that for?"
"Good luck."
"But you touched my ass."
"I know...What's wrong Sergeant, don't you believe in equal opportunity?"
Their friendly banter was interrupted by the harsh voice of the "Tiger" over the intercom.
"Get in my office...both of you...Now."
Broom could feel his hands begin to sweat again as he looked at Furthers, following her into Kelly's office.
"I just got me a great idea."
"Sir?" Asked Broom.
"I'm going to give you a new partner for this case."
Broom looked at Furthers, wondering what his boss was suggesting.
"Why would you do that Sir?"
"We need to fight fire with fire."
"I'm sorry Sir, but I don't understand what you're suggesting."
"Constable Furthers is going to be your new partner on this case..."
The young woman was just as shocked as the Sergeant.
"Me...Why me Sir?"
"These two crooks...Silky and Rona, are not your run of the mill robbers. What we need to do, is use the instincts of a woman in tracking down that pair, and I think it's time we let Constable Furthers earn her spurs."
"But Inspector..." said Broom.
"You got some objection Sergeant?"
Broom hesitated, looking at the quizzical expression on Becky's face.
"No objection Sir. You could be right. We have women in the force, we should make use of their special talents."
"Intuition...they call it intuition," said Furthers.
"Whatever. When do we start Sir?"
"Get Stopych to replace you in the office and be ready to go on the road with Sergeant Broom by nine tomorrow morning. I suggest you both go in civies when you're working with the Americans...and good luck."
They both saluted and left his office. As the door closed behind them, they heard him smack his desk with the crop, another momentous decision in the life of Inspector "Tiger" Kelly.
Download free original art by William James Johnson at www.noozoon.com
As with most mediocre leaders, Inspector Kelly was looking for a way to cover his own backside, a tactic which he had honed over a long career of one foul up after another. He liked to brag about how he could fall into a barrel of crap and come out smelling like a rose. Obviously he was completing his career in this backwater posting of Estevan instead of finishing in a plum position in some foreign Embassy because someone up there knew the real "Tiger" Kelly.
He wasn't the Mountie on the posters..Barely making the height requirement, and definitely paunchy, Kelly had trouble getting through basic training. Everyone felt he was one brick short of a load, but no one had the courage to finger him. What he lacked in talent, he made up in earnestness.
There was something about him that didn't ring true. Take his nickname for example. Many of the new recruits thought he was called "Tiger" because he was a hard task master, when in fact, "Tiger" was the name he was given as a little boy because of his uncanny knowledge of the players on the Detroit Tigers' baseball team. Kelly would never think of explaining this oversight. It was one of his secretaries who found out about his little secret during a Christmas party.
Somehow over the years, Kelly had limped his way to the lofty rank of Inspector through raw survival instincts, and an ability to shine his boots better than anyone else. He was hoping to complete his last year before retirement without attracting much attention, a virtue he had always practised. Then came the Riel payroll heist. As the "Tiger" put it, he was going to bronze someone's private parts over this screw up, and Broom was the prime victim.
"You can go in now Sergeant," said Constable Becky Furthers.
Broom awkwardly brushed against her, feeling her breast flatten slightly, and winked, hoping this macho gesture would hide his nervousness. An unmarried womanizer, Broom welcomed all opportunities to "test the waters". Furthers was not impressed. Why would she be? Everyone knew she was involved in what is called "a meaningful relationship", with Constable Cathy Stopych. But there were still guys like Broom who thought that all she needed to straighten her out was some sack time with a real man.
"Sit down Sergeant."
"Thank you Sir."
"So...I don't have to tell you I'm very disappointed in you and Charlie."
"I understand Sir...really Inspector...I do understand."
"Goddamn it Dick...I'm not just disappointed...I'm bloody well pissed off. Have you any idea how bad it makes me look?"
"I'm sorry Sir. Me and Charlie let you down."
"Sorry hell...what are we going to do about this payroll mess?"
"Investigate it like we always do Sir."
"Investigate...Investigate my ass. Do you realize there's a bunch of weirdos out there who think this guy and his girl are some kinda folk heroes."
"I've heard that Sir...but..."
"Don't waste my time with more goddamn excuses. Two of my best men let themselves get taken by an Army guy, a lowly Corporal at that, and this two bit hustler."
"And their dog...don't forget the dog."
"The dog was on your side for Chrissake. Chuck Henry said it was the dog who brought you the bag of money...and now you want to criticize the dog. What the hell went wrong?"
"You had to be there Sir."
"Balls...You guys better start getting some results or you'll spend the rest of your career doing Eskimo dances. Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes Sir. I understand Sir."
"Do you realize I've been in this outfit over thirty years."
"I believe you have mentioned it..."
"Over thirty fuckin' years of hard time. None of this musical ride or tourist Mountie bull shit in Ottawa. I know what it means to risk my ass bringing in drunken wahoos on Saturday night. It hasn't been easy."
"Yes Sir...It's been tough."
"You goddamn right."
Kelly stood up and began pacing in front of Broom, swinging at his breeches with a riding crop to emphasize what he was saying. The sound of leather against twill punctuated each remark. Broom wondered how the Inspector's legs could stand such abuse. He remembered Kelly once bragged he had been sent to Estevan detachment to "whip" the men into shape.
"I'm gonna level with you Sergeant, we've got a lot of wimps in our force today, and we can blame the politicians for that. I wouldn't want this to get out, but the day we were ordered to let women into our ranks, was the beginning of the end. I don't mind saying that with all these changes, I'm looking forward to my retirement. But goddamn it, I want to leave the force in a blaze of glory."
"Yes Sir...that would be nice."
"Nice...you say nice. Christ man, it'd be fantastic. 'Inspector Tiger Kelly' the man whose team solved the Riel robbery...has a nice sound doesn't it Sergeant?"
"Sure does. And we'll do it Sir. You can count on it."
With this Kelly took a swing at the back of Broom's chair with his leather crop.
"Good man. Knew I could count on you Sergeant. Now let's get down to details...What the hell you gonna do?"
"Get back the money if we can..."
Kelly smashed the desk with the crop. "Of course get back the money you ninny...How?...How do we get it back?"
"Find Zylkowski and his girl friend and arrest them, and make them tell us where the money is..."
"Jeezus! I wish I had that on tape..."
"It's been less than a week since they disappeared Sir. They couldn't have gotten very far."
"We know they got as far as Bowbells. That's where they dumped your car. Right?"
"Not my car Sir."
"What do you mean, not your car?"
"It was a rental."
Wack...Tiger smashed the desk again. "Are you for real Sergeant? Jeezus H. Christ...I'm trying to get something going, and you tell me it wasn't your car."
"Well it wasn't."
"I'm going to try it one more time...The car you used was last seen in Bowbells?"
"We got the car back. It was abandoned at a small airport just outside of Bowbells.
"That's right Sir."
"Thank God we can finally agree on something."
"Thank you Sir."
"Doesn't it seem reasonable to you, that if they left the car at an airport, they probably took a plane out of there?"
"We've already checked that Sir."
"So?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing...What do you mean nothing?"
"No one there. The place was empty?"
"The car was left there, but the place was empty?"
"That's right Sir...No aircraft either."
"Now that ought to tell you something Sergeant."
"I checked with the locals and they said an old wartime pilot called Ivan Thistlegrow lived at that small airport and he did charter flights for farmers in a Cherokee. No one has seen him for at least a week."
"Then he's your man. Find Thistlegrow, and you'll probably find the two crooks."
"Thank you Sir. I must agree with you."
"What the hell you doin' sitting here?"
"You sent for me Sir."
"Broom?"
"Sir."
"You like being a Sergeant?"
"Yes I do."
"Then get to hell outa here, and get your man. Act like a Sergeant for Chrissake. We're still Mounties aren't we?"
"Have I your permission to work with the Americans?"
"You've got whatever you need. Now get outa here. Make me proud again to be a Mountie."
"Yes Sir." Saluting smartly, Broom did a regulation about face and marched out of his office. In the waiting room he let out a sigh of relief.
"I'm glad that's over."
Constable Furthers got up from her chair and came over to his side of the desk and grabbed him by the seat of his pants and gave it a good squeeze.
"What's that for?"
"Good luck."
"But you touched my ass."
"I know...What's wrong Sergeant, don't you believe in equal opportunity?"
Their friendly banter was interrupted by the harsh voice of the "Tiger" over the intercom.
"Get in my office...both of you...Now."
Broom could feel his hands begin to sweat again as he looked at Furthers, following her into Kelly's office.
"I just got me a great idea."
"Sir?" Asked Broom.
"I'm going to give you a new partner for this case."
Broom looked at Furthers, wondering what his boss was suggesting.
"Why would you do that Sir?"
"We need to fight fire with fire."
"I'm sorry Sir, but I don't understand what you're suggesting."
"Constable Furthers is going to be your new partner on this case..."
The young woman was just as shocked as the Sergeant.
"Me...Why me Sir?"
"These two crooks...Silky and Rona, are not your run of the mill robbers. What we need to do, is use the instincts of a woman in tracking down that pair, and I think it's time we let Constable Furthers earn her spurs."
"But Inspector..." said Broom.
"You got some objection Sergeant?"
Broom hesitated, looking at the quizzical expression on Becky's face.
"No objection Sir. You could be right. We have women in the force, we should make use of their special talents."
"Intuition...they call it intuition," said Furthers.
"Whatever. When do we start Sir?"
"Get Stopych to replace you in the office and be ready to go on the road with Sergeant Broom by nine tomorrow morning. I suggest you both go in civies when you're working with the Americans...and good luck."
They both saluted and left his office. As the door closed behind them, they heard him smack his desk with the crop, another momentous decision in the life of Inspector "Tiger" Kelly.
Download free original art by William James Johnson at www.noozoon.com
posted by William Johnson | 8:55 a.m.
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